VERY IMPORTANT SKILLS

Here is my and my Person. This picture is from earlier this week. It is very rewarding to have a Person, but it is also a big responsibility. You have to tuck them in at night, and train them to give you the foods and the snuggles when YOU want them, and you have to make sure that they get up on time in the morning. I am just figuring out the best way to do that last one. I used to pee on the couch, but then I realized that the couch is not in the same room where my Person sleeps, so she would not notice the pee until she was already up, and that was not fun for anybody. Then I started jumping on top of her dresser and mraw mrawing really loudly, and then knocking things onto the floor, but that just made her yell "Kis-MET HONESTLY WHAT IS IT??" I couldn't think of another way to make sure she got up on time for a long time, but now I think I've got it. Listen closely, cats!

First, you listen for the loud box to start beeping. The loud box will usually be right next to the bed, and it will beep to let you know that it is time for you to help your person get up. Persons will usually ignore this, or they will hit the box, and it will stop beeping. (It doesn't like being hit, so it stops beeping for awhile in hopes that the person will go back to sleep and be late for important things. Anyway, so you have to make sure you hear it the first time, because depending on how mad it gets, it might stop beeping and never start again.) Once the box has stopped beeping, you jump onto the bed and sit right next to your person's face. Sometimes they will open their eyes and look at you, but if your person is like my Person, she will just tell you that you are cute and then go back to sleep.

Now, this next step is VERY IMPORTANT!!! What you do is, you take your very big front foots, and you put it VERY GENTLY on your person's face, and you say quietly "Mraw?" And then you just keep your paw there and keep quietly mrawing until your person gets up. It works every time!! And once they are up, they will certainly feed you and pet you and tell you what a nice, cute, handsome, big boy you are.

Sometimes you will be so excited about successfully getting your person out of bed, you will eat your morning foods too fast, and then you will vom. If this happens to you, I suggest walking away from the vom for awhile, and then coming back to inspect it. One of two things will happen then. You will either forget that it is foods that you already ate and you will eat it again, or a cat who lives with you -- like a Mona -- will come and eat it for you. Either way, DO NOT PANIC.

I hope you have found this entry informative and helpful. This is Kismet, mrawing off.